Family is great, huh?

Tonight I went over to my parents house to watch family videos. It was really fun seeing ones I either have never seen or haven't seen in a long time. With my horrible memory, who can tell? As we laughed at our silly antics we did in getting attention from the lens, it brought me to a conclusion. These past couple of months have been fun. I feel like I've been getting to know my family in a way that wasn't possible when I lived with them. Does that make any sense? But what I've been able to feel is a great appreciation for everything they have and continue to do for me. My mom was willing (more than once, although I only took her up on it once) to come over to my apartment and hold me hostage, I mean sit with me until I worked on my resume a good amount. You see, I happen to have a very strong procrastination habit, and I was putting off my resume for far too long. Mom came over, and helped me write grammatically correct sentences and generally make it good enough to send out. Then Dad brought dinner over and we had a fun dinner over here. They really help me so much with everything I need to do and I'm very grateful for them.

They also set great examples of strong church members, good money managers, and how to basically be good people. I'm grateful that the Lord sent me to such an amazing family. I'm spoiled and for most of my life I didn't appreciate it as much as I should. I always knew they were great, because I'd hear it all the time when people would hear my last name, but I'm starting to learn just how hard they work to do things right.

My sisters are also a great strength to me. Lily, and now Adam, are hilarious and I really love when they come visit and force/beg/coerce me to come see them. They use some reason like I'm entertaining, which we all know is absolute hogwash. :P But seriously, folks- they're great and I'm glad that we have such fun together. Melissa is hilarious. She's upstaged me in every way in the Ward, but who could prevent that from happening? Her songs are funny and great (but not the one that has that word that is annoying... grr....) and she makes everyone laugh. One day, maybe, If she tries reeeeeeeaaaally hard, maybe she'll learn how to dance. Haha! That's pretty much the only thing I do better than her.

Laura and Danny are great and I wish I could see them more! I love my neices and nephew and wish I could see all of them more often. They're such good kids and make us laugh so much. Christmas Day was fun having Laura and the girls come to exchange presents before we all went to POG. We didn't get to see Danny yet- his truck broke down and he couldn't make it. :(

I feel like maybe some people will feel like I'm writing a post for "Seriously, So Blessed" but I felt the need to tell the internet world that I appreciate my family. I appreciate the fact that as we've grown up, maybe we've gotten less cute (my case, for sure), but we've become better friends and we can be each other's strong point.

Lily tagged me... I guess that means I had to fill this out? Sigh... if you want, just watch the random video.

I am - usually first in line at Break the Fast.
I want - a bigger hard drive. That's what I get for having such a wide range of music.
I hear - music in my head, all the time.
I never - want to see another spider again!
I wonder - where to go to school.
I always - close the toilet lid.
I usually - drive home replaying conversations that happened that day in my head, laughing out loud at things I remember.
I search - for pictures on google all the time.
I am not - a rock climber.
I dance - all the time... is that even a question?? :)
I sing - , but not with confidence. I'm really best in a choir.
I wish - for a pony, and a barbie, and nail polish, and polly pocket and shoes and, and, and...
I dislike - feeling left out. I'm working on that.
I rarely - don't answer calls on my phone.
I cry - during sad parts in movies, sad songs, when I'm sad, ok really I cry often. But hopefully not too much... haha!
I am not always - on time. Ok, rarely.
I lose - when I play online games. All the stinking time!!!!
I fear - the dark of the night. No, not really, I just already used spiders in this thing...
I'm confused - when people spell my name wrong. It's not that hard!
I need - music. More than anything else, really.
I should - do my laundry more often.
I dream - situations and emotions. Sometimes very strong emotions that are hard to shake when I wake up. Very strange.
I have - almost 70 pairs of shoes.
I love - a heck of a lot of things- shopping, the sky, good smells, good conversations, walking, learning new things, my comfy bed, a new color a day, feeling understood, cats, and soft fabrics. To name a few.
I tag - um... Janelle, Christa, and Ruth.

Peppermint ice cream

Is so good.

And I thought it was gone from all the stores, but I found some at an Albertson's while buying butter.

Woo-hoo!

Tired

You know, I just want to say that I'm tired sometimes. It's exhausting to act happy. I'm not a good actress- I learned that in high school. I have a hard time convincing myself that my life is a happy one. I find so much to gripe about, and so much to bring me down. I think I need to spend more time looking for the good. More time finding ways to be independent and not let others actions bring me down. In Relief Society today Christina made a comment how it seems that a group of church members may appear to look/act the same (ex: the Apostles, etc.) and the reason may appear that they/we are trying to be each other. But the real reason is because they're all striving to be like Jesus Christ. I find myself wondering that if I acted like so-and-so that maybe I'll be happier. Or, why can't I be nice like Kim. People won't be scared of me and think I'm a jerk. That maybe I'll find this amazing guy and life will suddenly become easier. But I've got the wrong goal. I'm shooting for something that won't work for me. I need to find the best ME, the me that is becoming more like Jesus Christ. That way, I will find happiness in getting to know myself. That it won't matter if there isn't an Anne Fan Club 1,000 members strong. I will be ok just being me. That I will find out that I am worthy of carrying Christ's name along with mine. Right now I don't feel it. Right now I feel like a whiny teenager who can't keep it together. And even typing that I feel pathetic.

Please do not take this post the wrong way. Don't feel pressured to comment nice things to make me feel better. I just feel the need to say that I'm going to have a goal this year. In 2009 I will become a better person. I will get my act in gear and try to better myself. Life is not about just having fun. I can have fun, but I will work that into the important stuff. Because the fun stuff will feel more fun when I'm not feeling guilty for shirking my responsibilities.

I will:
Find a job.
Research schools and figure out which one is right for me.
Read my scriptures and pray daily and my patriarchal blessing often.
Read good books, which include not just the fun fantasy ones, but ones that make me grow and learn (church books, informational books, self-help, music books, etc.).
Learn more songs on my ukulele and practice them, as well as try to pick up more theory.
Build up my friends, and make new ones.
Learn to be more independent, and not a burden to others.
Dance everywhere possible.


I am determined to make this a good year.