As I sit here at my desk eating the bag of Jelly Belly's my parents gave me for Valentine's Day (yeah, you just stop judging me, Mr. Judgy-judge), I contemplate on the wonder and exquisitosity that is Jelly Belly. For the following reasons.
1. Let's just all agree that some kind of witchcraft is going on at the Jelly Belly factory to make them taste as fantastic as they do. There is no human way to make something taste that much like buttered popcorn without a wizard or two hangin' round.
2. The surprise. Is this white one going to be french vanilla, cream soda or *death? (*coconut) It's like Christmas morning with each bean. Or in case you don't like fun, here's the flavor guide.
3. The recipes. It's the closest you can get to Willy Wonka's 3-Course Meal gum but you choose what you want to make. Who says you need to learn how to cook? I don't. Trust me. I would not tell you to go learn to cook, since that might mean I'd have to take my own advice. I shudder at the thought.
4. Sugar.
5. Again, buttered popcorn. I know it's a love or hate, but for me I luuurve it. It's my lactose-free version and the kernels don't get stuck in your gums. Pretty awesome.
6. Also, juicy pear. There are never enough.
7. Jelly Belly made Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans come to real life. Yes, that happened. And it was glorious.
Look how cute this 1989 ad for Jelly Belly is:
